After all that happen , pesuasion for cher and friends , after thinking , after trying to give up the 2 point , after skipping 2 trainings ,

guess still have to go back and endure till this year ends . I guess so .
Am worried about coach wanting to talk to us , and am worried about facing trngs again , and also teammates ?
I give up , cus i think i couldnt endure , its hard , even endure 3 years . It hard , cus i got a feeling to give up half way during trng . I feel like stop running when im running , i feel like stopping what im training , i feel like taking more breath . Having the fear before trng , and dread so much about it , makes me feel like not going .
But the thought of 2 points , and 20+ more trngs to go to end off this hardship , maybe endure a little longer . Idk, really tired .
I know everyones tired , but i feel im weaker than the rest .
The last to ran finish , the one that feels like be the one that give up first.
My endurance is not good , i know . Am weak .

Haiiis . theres no choice left , tmr have to face the consequences . Am worry , am scared . This is still what i have to face , so endure no matter how difficult , or how hard life's gonna be . Sigh .
At least i got wonderful teammates , i hope so . :(

Its feel silly , and i think they might feel im silly , to feel like quitting , and then came back again . I dont know . Am silly , im thinking , im always thinking .........

Alrights ,
today is the first day of forward track .
One session felt so long , 1h 30min , Gonna focus and everything ,
Aft eoy , it feels really sians to back to study again .
but life is like this .
This is not end yet ,
Gonna work harder .
Guess should be thrutrain , guess so . If so , am really happy about it .
Am willing to workhard ~
Hope the 9 people that are retaking their exams , wont retain . I dont want them to retain !
Jiayous for the 9 people ! Its not the end yet .

END update for today .
P/s , Am worry about tmr , tmr , more and more , the same old feeling ~