Hello long since I used a com, long since I step in here.
Long since I blogged,
Actually recently had the feel to blog or write a diary . And yesterday I started writing one , but I guess I wont keep a diary for long because Its hard to spend a lil time before I sleep when I always feel so lazy like a pig . BloggingZ Nahh. I hardly use computer so hi just trying to update this blog when no one is looking . reading my previous update before this is like a year ago ? I miss some things so much . but I feel that two years back , im still a happy girl . Now , i hardly even understand myself .
Yesterday received my result . the disappointment where some of us get when we alread knw 0% of distinction in our class. the 7 of us who worked so hard leave disappointment to our teachers, to ourselves, our parents . I dont think my parents even cared so I didnt update them about it .I already expected what grade Im getting and yes, I get a B3 merit again , thrice you know when i worked harder than the two times i took before . but i guess someone is even sadder than me . upset than me . Somehow i just feel the moe system or the teachers are just being bad to some of us . its a freaking new syllabus..
hey , Ive long lost you .But you're still one of the important person in my life although im the person you want to get rid in your life . I had a love hate kind of feeling . hate for some actions and words you said , the things tht you made me disappointed and some things you do... but love because we once had a past and its not like im still living in the past but , i wish im still as important . but like you said , important i wish lor , the 'I' in Important also dont have . Im sorry for being part of the fault for the result you get. You will definitely get at least a B3 if you retake . I believe , everyone think so too . I know it hits you hard. With this , Work even harder and spend your time wisely . Two months ago I already started praying for you ... and me. Now , still , I wish the second time you take a b3 will be a no problem to you or even be the 5th one to get an A ok ? I know you can , i know you believe too . the tears you drop , let many tears fall for you too . dont give up ok.
Yes , after getting the bad result , was walk our ways but then each quarrel I seem to find out another disappointment . Another disappointment I get from you . you said when you were drunk tht few weeks ago , you called me so late at night is because you did something wrong is because you were guilty . :'(
I was so worried about you that night when I know you drunk . But today you actually confess what you did actually . yes it hurts. and I didnt know some of the past that you hid from me . I now then know and I feel double the hurt . Its like Im being fooled being lied to . it just hurts so much . for serious, its impossible to forget you . but i can move on . even one day i get over you , i will still remember you because you leave me such pain memories . even your person just made a huge impact in me . I wish the plans or the rest of the future promises , you wont break them all . Because , I remember you.
